c...? My step daughter goes in and out of these moods. Mainly when she hears about her dad that is a drug user and is in jail all the time. She has not seen him in years. She is seven. But his mother is trying to see her and has told us she will do everything at all cost to get her. Now we have the police in on everything. But everytime the child hears about anyone from that side of the family she goes into these moods for weeks and weeks. She will hold her self from the bathroom, fight with us, tell us we are always wrong, eat like there is no tomorrow, sleep all the time, wont play with her toys, and so forth. She is not around anyone of these people. The courts have made this clear for the safety and the abuse. What would u do? More info.. She found out about her dad becuase of a family member writing her a letter and sneaking it into a gift. It stated her dad was stabbed, is on drugs and might be going to jail. His mom wrote this. She is twisted...
Family - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I would not talk about that side of the family around her. It is scary to hear that you are going to be ripped out of your family and sent to someone you don't like. She is detaching herself from you because she doesn't know where she will end up. She is also exhibiting depression in a young child. Children at that age don't have the ability to know how to deal with these types of issues. You need to contact a child psychologist to help her with this issue.
2 :
Try to get her some counseling. If there was past abuse at the hands of anyone on her father's side, she's reacting to that. She needs a way to work with her emotions and to deal with them. Be very careful about mentioning any of them within earshot of her. Ask your doctor for a referral to a good child psychologist. If you have no insurance to cover it, since the police are involved you may be able to get some help through family services. Take care of your little girl. All the best to you.
3 :
Why can't she see her grandmother? Edit: Well is he in jail? Yes or no. I mean without all the negative long drawn out details to a seven yr. old child, she does have a right to know why her father is not in her life at the moment without someone telling her lies and ignoring her feelings/rights. Do you realize ignore is the root word of ignorance? There is a point where love gets abusive like that as you candy coat what you assume is love and I do know what I'm talking about. I heard pretty much the same from a 4 yr. old child, my grandchild, who was told a detailed bunch of info I have no knowledge of is or was and yes, she was stressed out. As far as your step-daughter, I understand why every single detail is not necessary but he is her father and she is his daughter according to facts you note. She is obviously feeling oppressed and is acting out because she's catching on to dishonest conversation from you that would come out sooner or later anyways. See, you don't have any control over truth. People have been trying to get rid of truth forever and it never works, in fact, backfires. Besides, what child wants to be lied to and if you lie or she finds out you have lied to her how then, will you teach her that dishonesty and manipuation is WRONG? This little girl will be a woman in the future who will also be someone's wife, mother, grandmother, possibly employee or employer. Who wants to associate with dishonest people who can't be trusted? No matter what the facts are they are the facts ..."where's my dad?" "your father was put in jail by the judge" "what is that?" "jail is a place people have to go when they choose to ignore rules that protect people, including themselves" "they are teaching him that people are suppose to follow rules". A child who is lied to about choosen negative actions by those that claim to love them does not maketh those people a savior. It's pretty close to oke doke on the adult negative behavior to a child who is a human being trying to grow slowly (due respect to childhoods) into an adult. Adults around children do not belong being dishonest while seeing themselves as doing good and again, that builds bad character in a child (common sense). That forces a child to spend their suppose-to-be adult years trying to get rid of mixed up conflicting signals from adults while they were trying to grow up. The bottom line is, there is a clear difference between right and wrong until someone has clouded the issue with confusion. If I were you I would give that man's mother some credit. Perhaps at least that person's mother realizes something you dream isn't real or assume you have the power to hide and for that she's twisted? She does not live in denial of what is going on with *her* son according to your post and is probably most likely not jumping for joy that her son is opting not to have respect for himself PLUS she also as a parent has to watch her grandchild go thru this. Maybe she so does not feel, as a grand*parent*, that a child should be stressed to wonder why other people know their father or where he is. The only way a child would not know what the word father means is if he or she was kept in a closet. I wonder what that woman thinks of you given the fact that the only contact she has with her grandchild, at least that you have mentioned, is being allowed to give her a gift and speak to her thru a piece of paper. That looks cheap on your part and also anti-family. I think you are also conveniently attaching that woman's son to her at the hip which could end up happening to you because you are using your step-child to do so. How do you assume you are not sending mixed signals concerning the basic concept of manipulation to your own step-daughter? How are you related to her father, and were there constant guilt trips about his mother? Seems to me if you have a problem in your life it should remain dealt with where it belongs because you too can work on you despite gossip. I surely know these family problems aren't just a female thing or just a male thing either. If you expect people to be real with you then you should get real with yourself and not focus on meddling your way thru relationships that come easy OR take some work on the negative. That's what healthy ability to love is. The police and a slew of people who get paid according to conflict are on your side? Are they really and are you the type of person who doesn't get it until it's too late? How could you see your step-daughter as an idividual if you can't see other people as individuals? Do you think SHE needs drugs?
4 :
hey there i can share your pain the first thing to do is get her in to see a doctor and he/she can help you find her help to see a child therapist they only work with children this sounds like abuse from the other side of her family and you need to keep records on what the doctors says second you need to hire an attorney and they can file against her father side and once the judge see and hear of all this they can make where they can no longer contact yall and most of all they will protect yall i would make a list of everytime they call or threaten yall and if they continue breaking the order then they are in contempt of the law and they may go to jail third of all the school needs to be known of this also so they can watch her and if they show up at the school the school can press charges finally the most of all she her that you are there for her and you want let anybody hurt her show her love and be patient with her i hope i have help i wish you luck and happiness
5 :
A child who is merely 7yrs old, is far too young to be given those kinds of details about their father. It does nothing but cause psychological problems. This woman sounds like she's got a few loose nuts and bolts. Keep that letter, if you haven't thrown it out already. It's proof that she's not fit for custody or even visitation rights. Also, if the courts have already ruled in your favour, you may be able to get a restraining order. Sneaking a damaging letter like that to your step daughter in with a gift could be classified as assault or willful mental damage to a child. I don't know to what extent of the past exposure she's had with your ex's family, but obviously it's enough that it's done damage. I wouldn't allow any contact whatsoever, unless a judge made me. Until then, put her first and keep them away from her. No letters, phone calls, visits, emails, gifts. Anything. If they show up at your door, don't let them in and call the cops if they won't leave. And do your best not to talk about any of them or the situation around her. Also, since she's exhibiting reactive behaviours to all of this, she may need a child psychologist. Or she may just need you to demonstrate that you are going to keep her safe. Sounds like you need a lawyer. Good luck.
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