Child Health: Mental health for a young child

Mental health for a young child...?
Mental health for a young child...? My step daughter goes in and out of these moods. Mainly when she hears about her dad that is a drug user and is in jail all the time. She has not seen him in years. She is seven. But his mother is trying to see her and has told us she will do everything at all cost to get her. Now we have the police in on everything. But everytime the child hears about anyone from that side of the family she goes into these moods for weeks and weeks. She will hold her self from the bathroom, fight with us, tell us we are always wrong, eat like there is no tomorrow, sleep all the time, wont play with her toys, and so forth. She is not around anyone of these people. The courts have made this clear for the safety and the abuse. What would u do? More info.. She found out about her dad becuase of a family member writing her a letter and sneaking it into a gift. It stated her dad was stabbed, is on drugs and might be going to jail. His mom wrote this. She is twisted...
Parenting - 7 Answers

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1 :
Well first of all, at age 7, she should NOT be hearing about her father being in jail and how much he's a drug user. That's far too much information for a child. Especially if this person is her father..... Second, this little girl sounds like she could benefit from some therapy. She needs to be able to talk to someone about her feelings, an unbiased person, and she needs to feel comfortable talking about her feelings. Clearly this is beyond you or anyone else and she needs further assistance. The best thing you guys can do is help her with that. Help her learn to deal with her feelings in a different way rather than all the things you stated above. I hope for her sake that you guys can work this out!
2 :
Try to get her to talk to you about it. Ask her about her feelings on the situation and more importantly listen to what she has to say. If you can't get her to talk to you about it try counseling. Maybe you can talk to the school counselor about it and see if he/she can talk to your daughter about it. She may just be afraid that her father or his mother will be successful at taking her away from her family. Make sure to be patient and understanding without belittling her feelings. Good luck, I hope things get better.
3 :
she shouldn't be burdened with the knowledge that her dad is a drug addict or jail bird because for gods sake, she is SEVEN YEARS OLD. if you think that YOU, especially being a step-parent are going to magically make her accept everything or anything you say, especially anything negetive about her dad you are in for a long hard road. stay out of it, and quit talking smack to her, because one of these days she won't have to ASK ANYONE....she'll get behind the wheel and drive herself to where he is.
4 :
I agree with Momto2. She does not need to hear these conversations, it is obviously detrimental to her well-being. Furthermore, I think medicating her should be the last option. She needs therapy. Pick a psychologist for her to talk too... sometimes it helps to talk to someone that is outside the situation.
5 :
Talk to the courts.. show them the letter but most of all talk honestly and openly about drugs... not all FEAR and FIRE.. dont make her dad out to be totally evil... its easier to be honest about drugs if you actually have had some experience yourself.. (not just over react like so many people do.. which actually tends to push the kids into doing drugs more) at 7 she is too young for some of it.. but keep an open door so she can ask more.. this will help her cope.. she needs coping skills... you could have the grandma over to your house.. then if it gets nasty ask her to leave...i wouldnt leave the kid alone with this woman... how to talk about drugs: "Yes your father was on drugs, some times people try drugs thinking it wont affect them and then the drugs get a hold of the people and they cannot stop it. Unfortunately your dad was one of those people... it doesnt mean he doesnt love you, it means the drugs controlled his life so he couldnt help himself...."
6 :
I just have to wonder if she is hearing negative things about her father and his family that is instilling this fear into her? Your not talking negative about them to her are you that would terrify her are you? First off I wouldnt mention any of them in her presence again. If you need to talk to anyone about them make sure she isn't around. Secondly I would take her to see a therapist so she can have someone to talk to that can really fine the source of the problem and work with her to resolve the issue.
7 :
I have to say that I agree to some extent to what some of the other moms in the forum say, 7 really is too young to know in detail about her fathers side of the family. of course I also know that sometimes through the actions of others your child will learn alot of what you DONT want them know. If its possible to step back and view the situatin from a strangers stand point, is there any thing that you can do to minimize the moods. maybe isolate the other family exposure as much as you can, is she around anyone at school that talks about his family or family memebers. you could try asking the teacher for suggestions. what I would do though would be pretty extreme, haha (change schools, change towns ) the works however thats not always possible, so try getting her a hobby and ask her about what she thinks and what she knows about what is going on, since she knows this much, you may as well straighten out the issues on some things. good luck to you!!

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Monday, September 28, 2009

Mental health for a young child