my husband has to provide health insurance in his child support order!! do you think is fair?
hi! my husband was ordered like 3 years ago to pay child support for his 1st son, and to pay health insurance, ever since, he is being going to court to get custody over his kid. finally like in a month it will be the final verdict. well... this is my issue. my husband pays $206 monthly for his kid (the one ordered by the court), and he pays $19 on our kid insurance monthly, do you think is fair?? I am not asking for him to pay the same amount for our kid, I think it is way to much $ for his 1st kid..that is not counting the child support money..... but is there a way for him to get a different health insurance package for his 1st kid? that pays way less ...because, it is a premium insurance, and my kid has a low income H insurance, isn't it suppose to be equal?? we can't afford to pay the insurance for our kid the same like his 1st kid......His 1st kid got braces, and the mom, wants my husband to pay half, because that's what the law says, but my husband's opinion was never in it, he didn't know his kid was getting braces and how much the cost was going to be.....and his kid, was not even intimidated on smiling, and I think that could waited. it is ridiculous! the ex, just wants to keep on messing with my husband's life, and its messing with mine too...I have a nice smile.....but.hello...I do need to fix my bottom teeth, their crooked and that kid has braces...all my front (top) teeth are ok..and the ex's family want my husband to pay for the ex's family attorney fees because of the custody battle... I am feed up with it already, had enough.....but do you think is fair??? I knew what I was getting into when I married him... the mom was not even raising her kid was the great grandma maternal side, my husband would have the kid more than 50% of the time.so he didn't have to pay anything, when he wanted to have the kid legally full custody with him, is when the mom appears. saying she has been there always for the kid....the kid and I had a really pretty relationship, and all this happened, the kid doesn't even talk to me no more, the kid doesn't want to be touch by my kid and says that don't want to be around my kid or me...I don't think is fair!!, messing with a kid like this, and brainwashing the kid's mind and I don't think is fair that my kid has the same rights as the sibling.....I am not jealous, but I think that my kid deserves the same, no more no less...... the mom admitted on a declaration, after she was caught, thanks to me, (that she was lying)..but still demands more than what she already has....that's why the court issue went that far..the great grand mother is fighting for custody now. I know my husband has to pay child support for his 1st kid...I understand it, but when they are asking for more, and more..and more..it is ridiculous!! and yeah! my husband is looking for a better job, but for what?? to pay more to the mom!?!?!....the child support don't care what moms do with the money...I went to the office and told em.. they don't care..and I told them, even though the mom spends the money, on clubs, bars and alcohol!!!...having proof!! I have a friend that gets child support, and she gives it a good use on the kid...but when the moms don't of course gets me upset... yes! my husband is going for full custody...I know that is going to be difficult for me to deal with if he gets it all, but I believe the kid has a chance to change, because the mom and the family in the maternal side changed the kid's mind completely, my life was doing good with the kid on it, until the maternal family started hating so much...me and my husband have been together for almost 6 years.and we were really happy, until this drama started...we would take my step kid everywhere.the kid wouldn't leave my side...and now the kid changed a lot!!!! the kid is used to do whatever its way!!! I know we won't have a lot of money with my step kid with us, but we won't have to go through all this drama of going to court and asking for money all the time...and dealing with the bitter unhappy of his ex and her family..I hate it!!
Marriage & Divorce - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sorry but that's what you get when you marry a man with an already made family ..He should have to pay that is his child that child did not ask to be brought into this world but he's here now take care of him ..And I'm 100% sure if the shoe where on the other foot you would complain the the father is paying to much ..So get over it or get use to it ..
2 :
Sounds like you're jealous of the '1st kid'. It's all about what the '1st kid' gets. Like it or not, as long as you are married to this kids' father, the kid is always going to be a part of your lives. Stop hating on the poor child, it does no one, especially you, any good.
3 :
I hate to say it but it is what it is. You cant control it so either your husband needs a better job or you do. I don't mean to sound harsh but there is really nothing you can do. Your husband can petition the courts and inquire about getting a lower costing health insurance. You knew he had another life before you and he has to continue and maintain the lifestyle that the child had before the parents split up. Therefore if "dad" was paying that much in health insurance than he will probably have to continue to do so for the remainder of the child's minor life. Accept it and things will be better EDIT: Why arent you going for full custody?? Why the grand parent? Is your husband not capable of caring for him? Once you get full legal and physical custody, most of your financial problems regarding the child, will go away. Im not sure it will be cheaper but then you wont be able to complain that you and your husband are giving the money away to a mother that isnt using the money correctly, according to you. I know its hard being a step parent but you have to choose your battles and change the things you can and the things you cant, try not to worry about it. Good luck EDIT again lol: I feel for ya, I really do. Im a step parent as well and we will ALWAYS be the evil one. You have to learn to deal with things the best you can. Try not to get caught up in the drama cuz it will surely suck you in if you let it. For the time being, try your hardest to get the child with you, be as patient as you can with the child cuz they dont know what they do. A childs mind is so easily manipulated and its so hard to turn them around but it is possible with lots of time and love. Just stay strong with your husband and do your part to get the child with you. I hope all things work out. Life isnt fair but Im not gonna sit around and dwell on it. Im gonna take them lemons and make some great lemonade! lol Best wishes to you and your family. By the way, how old and what gender is the child?? You can always email me too if we need to go further, ycreamster2000@yahoo.com
4 :
Parental responsibilities are what they are..that's life when you are a parent..blended family issues are very common today..you can work through this
5 :
no i dont think its fair my husband and i are kind of in the same situation the first child is always favored by the law for some reason even if it is taking away from the other children he has, i dont understand it, and his ex is bitter and unhappy too haha.
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