How did you know if/when you wanted a 2nd child?
I've have a 18 month old, and I'm going to be 32. My son is so health and good that I'm afraid the next child is going to either be unhealthy or a holy terror. :) Do I want to press my luck? Am I silly for even thinking about that? I was a only child and don't know what it's like to have a sibling. Is having a 2nd child really that different? I feel like I'll be shifting my attention from my son and they'll both suffer since they won't be getting my whole attention all of the time. Is having a only child better? Plus, I'm not getting any younger--any suggestions on when to have another if I do?
Toddler & Preschooler - 12 Answers
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1 :
believe me if you can love one child than you can love 2. As long as you feel like you have good control over your first child, than i would say you would be fine with another. Dont worry about the attention issue... all kids have to go through it. Its actually a good experience to have a child realize that the attention will not always be on just him. Also if you do run into an attention struggle try to include your son in chores you would have to do to take care of the baby examples would be bringing you a diaper, a bottle. Throwing something away. Kissing the baby. etc. Good luck! I have 4 kids and its hectic but i love it! I'd say go with another child. Its also great socially for your kids. Also a sibling is one that can understand you because they grew up just as you did, same parents same house hold. I loved growing up with my sister. She is my ultimate friend.
2 :
if you are feeling that you miss having a new born.
3 :
my 1st child was a nightmare loll. but nature took its course with my brain and 3 years later i had another child, she was an angel totally. 6 years later nature took over my brain again and i wanted another baby. shes a bloody nightmare lollll. then 6 years later old mother nature took hold again as i saw my biological clock ticking away and i realised i was 35 and now im due any day
4 :
Go for it. It is great watching your "babies" together. I have a 4 year gap between my 2 and love watching the together. There is always a "friend" when you need one. With yours being so close together is even better. ( i tried for a while to get my 2nd and now she is 10 months old) Wouldnt you love to have a little girl too or watch the boys kick around a ball out the back. There are so many benefits but the question is do you want 2 cause thats all it comes down too.... Oh and both of my children were and still are both angels with no problems ( i know mother view!!!!)
5 :
Well, my first son was an amazing baby. I had a wonderful pregnancy and by the time he was 10 months old I found myself wanting another one. I got pregnant again when my first son was only 12 months old. My second pregnancy was even better than the first. I didn't gain nearly as much weight because I was chasing my one year old son around all the time. My boys are 20.5 months apart. It can be crazy hectic at times, but I wanted to them to be close in age so they would grow up as friends and playmates. I knew it would be hard while they were young and hopefully get easier as time goes on. They are both so different and amazing. While, life would be easier for me with only one child, my sons would miss out on having a brother to love, play with, fight with, etc. I think the bond that they have makes more of an impact than me having to sometimes divide my time between them. You should listen to what that little voice inside of you is saying and follow your gut. I had my oldest when I was 25 and my youngest at 26 so I thought there would be nothing medical to worry about. Neither of my boys had anything life threatening, but we did go through a really rough year with lots of doctors appointments, tests, and procedures. They are both doing fantastic now and are healthy. So, I think medical problems can arise at any age. I've seen lots of moms in their late 20s and early to mid 30s with kids with various issues. It is all in how you handle those issues. For most people I know, it made them a better parent, more patient, more appreciative, etc. etc. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
6 :
go with the flow, dont protect and whatever happens happens...if your first baby was healthy then the next prolly will be....besides they can do test to find out if it is or not....good luck...the older one will be really interested in the little one so no problems there....young children are curious
7 :
I knew that I wanted a second child because neither my husband nor I wanted to have an only child. The sibling relationship is very special, and I didn't want to deprive my daughter of that. Sure, they both have to share our attention, but they also have the added benefit of getting each other's attention/playtime. I always thought that being an only child would be quite lonely and was very grateful to have my sister.
8 :
I tell people that all the time as far as not wanting the 'devil child' for a 2nd child. It is my main reason for not having another child. We have such a wonderful little boy, so well behaved, so sweet natured and I still find myself losing my patience with him. I can't even imagine the patience it would take for a difficult child. I am so happy with this one, I have absolutely no desire for another one. I do have siblings, I know how wonderful they can be but I also know that my son won't miss having siblings as he won't know any different. Did it make a difference to you that you didn't have a sister or brother? You need to look back at the past 18 months and decide if that is something you wish to repeat again or not. I have talked with so many only children and most say they were very happy and closer to their parents than most of their friends who had siblings- was that the case with you?
9 :
I have 2 kids who are 18 months apart - it is definitely a different experiance that with one child! I am so much busier! My daughter loves her new brother very much, I have not had any problems with jealousy. (Baby is now almost 12 weeks). I have found that I can still give a lot of one-on-one time to my daughter because the baby sleeps a lot. Actually, on most days, the baby is awake during my daughter's naptime, so he's getting the one-on-one time too. As they get older, they will be able to give each other attention as well :) It seems you would like another child, I say go ahead and do it. You will find your groove with having 2, and there is no reason for you to give up any one-on-one time. (You can always have your husband watch one while you have some alone time with the other, or even call someone to babysit).
10 :
I am very close to my sibling, so I always wanted two kids so they could experience the same relationship, and I wanted them close in age so they could play together do the same activities etc. Having a second child is more than twice the work in the beginning, but after a couple of years when they start to play together then it becomes much easier for you... you don't have to entertain them so much. They can also look out for each other and teach each other, so less work for you overall. And yes, you will be spending less one on one time, but the time they spend with each other will make up for that. You still have some time to have a second I think, just decide if you would rather work really hard for a short time (have them close) or if you want less hectic childcare spread over a longer period (have them apart)
11 :
LOL, I felt the same way. I have a 2 1/2 year old who is an angel (always has been) and very healthy so I'm nervous the next one will be completely different. I will be 31 years old this year so that played a small part in our decision. We have always wanted more than one b/c we grew up w/ siblings. The moment our neighbor came over and was playing with my son is when I realized it was time for a sibling. I actually had time to get some things done around the house b/c he let go of my leg for a while and was having so much fun playing with her. Also, about a month ago my son met his 2nd cousin, who is 6 months old. He was the biggest "helper", he kept bringing him the pacifiers and telling and showing him how the toys worked. After that, he talked about "the baby" for a week. We knew, then, that it was time.
12 :
Oh my gosh you read my mind! Except for the fact that my son is a HANDFUL and I am afraid my next one will be too. LOL. I am an only child as well. My husband is military and never home so I am a single parent most of the time. I am worried my son will act out due to jealousy and I will not be able to handle two. but I really want another. I am just waiting until I KNOW I am ready or until it accidentley happens. LOL. I figure I am not going to plan until I feel that I am sure about my decision. but if it happens anyways...than it happens. And nowadays many women are having healthy pregancies into their late 40s and some even 50s. you are still young! i am 25 but my husband is 30 and he feels the same as you. He wants to have another one NOW so he can still be young enough to play catch etc. But he is always deployed or working 18 hour days so I told him he has to wait!
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