Why do women opt not to breastfeed their children when they understand the countless health benefits?
As someone who is studying to be a nurse and have to see sick babies everday in my clinicals... I just don't understand why someone who COULD breastfeed wouldn't offer their child that protection... knowing that it could protect the baby from SIDS, childhood cancer, adult onset diabetes, cardiovascular disease, RSV, severe allergies, asthma, etc..... When I go over the pamphlets (because it's mandatory to in my job!) and mention to some mothers in hospital how breastfeeding could help their baby get well sooner... some still REFUSE and some even get defensive and angry. Some say it's "gross". And actually refuse to even pump for their baby. I don't get it! No other species refuses it's child it's milk. I understand that in rare cases some women cannot breastfeed. I am NOT referring to those who COULND'T, I am referring to those, who despite knowing and understanding how beneficial and health-enhacing breastfeeding is... still refuse to allow their child to have their milk. I am a mother myself and have breastfed for over a year. So I HAVE been there, done that.
Newborn & Baby - 26 Answers
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1 :
Have you had any children yet? Ask this again after you've tried to breastfeed.
2 :
I know that it might offend some people, but if they can breastfeed, understand how important it is, yet still refuse to do so ~ or even pump ~ then that's just selfishness. Those who "don't feel comfortable" could opt to pump and do so for at least several months ~ especially if their baby was sick in the hospital. I can see how you'd be annoyed by seeing that everyday. It would definitely bother me.
3 :
*sighs* There are millions of babies who are breastfed and millions of babies who are not breastfed and they seem just fine. Why judge other mothers who feel they do not need to do something else other mothers do. Just because one mother breastfeeds does not make her a better mother than the one who doesn't. Sure it is healthier, but it's not like formula is not healthy. THere is no reason why you should be judging other peoples parenting and choices. So I think it's time you get off your high horse.
4 :
For a number of reasons that I'll never really understand. I'm embarrassed at the low breastfeeding rates in this country. We also have the highest infant mortality rate in the "developed" world. Coincidence? I know that women who have college degrees, are more affluent and older mothers are far more likely to breastfeed than young, less educated poor women. It's cultural distaste, misunderstanding and lack of education all together that cause women to refuse to breastfeed their babies. Some women want to breastfeed, but run into a small problem, don't want to do the work required to fix it, and turn to formula. Some women don't know that breastfeeding problems can be fixed! There are so many reasons that women don't breastfeed. As you graduate and begin working as a nurse, you'll see that the formula reps peddle pamphlets full of bad information. They're all on a mission to sabotage breastfeeding! I can't believe how many people have said that formula is just as good. IT SAYS ON THE CAN THAT MOTHER'S MILK IS BETTER!!!
5 :
I did not breastfeed my twin girls. I just did not feel comfortable with it. My daughters are 3 1/2 and very healthy and smart! So I do not regret not breastfeeding them at all.
6 :
I find it strange. I'm breastfeeding my five month old still, and people around me keep on telling me to 'get him off the breast soon or you'll never get him off'. I've had the sore nipples, the mastitis, the pain and the frustration of a baby who wants to comfurt suck (and refuses a paci) I think breastfeeding has almost become a taboo in some areas. Bottles are pretty, colourful and look cool to some people. Maybe some people feel primitive breastfeeding? Either way, this is going to offend some people. It *is* selfish. When people say "everyone seems to look at me like a bad mother when I give my baby a bottle." I sometimes want to tell them to ask themselves if they think they are doing everything they can to be the best for their baby. Formula is a substitute, not an equivelent. Some people just can't get that into their thick skulls...
7 :
I don't get it either. I hear some women say that they don't like the idea of breastfeeding, blah, blah, blah... they have to return to work, blah, blah, blah.... but they COULD pump, at least, and give their baby the antibodies that only their milk can give them. I think it boils down to lack of a desire to make a commitment. It takes commitment to breastfeed -- and even more to pump breast milk every 2 hours and give it to baby. I have a friend who works and goes to school full time and she nurses her son in the morning before she leaves, pumps during her breaks and lunch, and feeds him at night. If she can manage to do it then so can everyone else. But it's not always easy. It's about laziness and being selfish I hate to say. If women know that their baby can get DEATHLY ill from not breastfeeding and still don't do it -- they're incredibly selfish people.
8 :
I breastfed my first child for only 3 months and he couldn't keep my milk down to my disappointment and had to be given a special formula. With my second child it wasn't easy b/c my first child was only a year old and extremely demanding. Sitting down and trying to pump was not as easy as it may sound when you have one running around into everything and another crying and hungry. And with my 3rd child I went through such a horrible spell of postpartum depression that after only 3 days I broke. I however was lucky enough to have 3 very healthy children and my peds didn't push it especially with the depression with my last child. I know that in a lot of cases today that mothers work full time and with formulas out now that contain DHA and ARA, it's just easier.
9 :
I have a sister who is a nurse and she says that many nurses and doctors feel the same way when women have babies and refuse to breastfeed. I understand it's their choice but how selfish not to. I think it is because they're selfish and lazy, personally. As offensive as that might sound to them .. why else wouldn't they? If they don't feel comfortable, like someone else said .. they could make the commitment to pump milk and do the right thing.
10 :
Selfishness. Period.
11 :
Agree with most answers. Women that know all the benefits and still CHOOSE not to breastfeed are selfish. Period. Actually, I never heard any of them giving a reason other than "cause it's my baby I do what I want". I do know why I breastfeed, it's the best I can do for my daughter. There's no way I'm gonna give my baby a substitute only for personal reasons. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, my baby became the most important thing. Of course, it's a personal decision. Some people choose to give their babies the best, some people go for the easiest option.
12 :
why is it any of your business??? If you breastfeed your children...who cares?? Don't judge someone because they do not make the same decision as you..that is just stupid and idiotic. ha...get a life.
13 :
I usually don't get involved in these womanly conversations but after reading the replies to this post I had to. In reply to the woman above who asked "why do you care?" I had to reply for the poster. SHE CARES BECAUSE PEOPLE SHOULDN'T ONLY CARE ABOUT THEIR OWN CHILDREN THEY SHOULD CARE ABOUT ALL CHILDREN. SHE CARES BECAUSE SHE SEES SICK BABIES ALL DAY AND KNOWS THAT MANY WOULD BE MADE HEALTHIER BY THEIR MOTHERS NURSING THEM. Did that answer your snotty question?
14 :
Why do people continue to judge the ways other people raise their kids when it's absolutely none of their business? I tried to breastfeed my child & could not but you know what, my daughter's perfectly healthy. Everyone is so judgemental & NO ONE has the right to call another woman selfish for how she chooses to feed her child! Wow, how ridiculously judgmental a lot of people are.
15 :
My wife is also in a nursing program in our area and complains about this issue as well. She breastfed our daughter despite going to school full time and working a couple of evening a week. She was a trooper and our daughter was and rarely is ever sick. My wife sees lots of sick children who have lung infections and meningitis in their first months of life BECAUSE they weren't protected by the antibodies in their mother's milk. I can see why you care. It is hard to understand why anyone wouldn't care. As a parent myself I not only care about my daughter's well-being but I do also care about other little ones. I think it's a shame when others ask why you care. The question should be why are they NOT concerned about how other children are being raised. We've really lost that "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality and it's a shame. I, for one, along with my wife DO care.
16 :
That would break my heart and really make me very frustrated if I had to see that everyday as well. I breastfed my children, so I cannot understand why someone would not give their child that gift. Of course a child might grow up to be 'healthy' on formula... but imagine how much healthier and smarter they could have been had they been given optimal nutrition custom made, as nature intended, from their mother's breast. Studies show that breastfed babies are smarter. And the longer a mother breastfeeds the smarter and healthier they generally are.
17 :
If they are informed, and therefore cannot claim ignorance, then it's either selfishness or a lack of desire and commitment to the process. It's not always easy to breastfeed but it's definitely what's best. I worked and breastfed, so it can be done, speaking from personal experience.
18 :
I don't understand either. It the best thing for your baby and it is FREE! It amazes me that so many women don't breastfeed or pump. I understand the challenges, because my milk didn't come in until 9 days after birth. By that time my daughter won't take my breast. So I have pumped for a full year. Now that ny daughter is one years old I have started to wean her off my breast milk. It has been very tough, but totally worth it.
19 :
Some women believe that formula is "just as good" as breast milk because this is obviously what the multimillion dollar a year campaigns funded by the formula manufacturers want them to believe. This is why despite the fact that there are industrialized and 'civilized' countries - they have the highest rate of infant deaths from SIDS and preventable illnesses/infections. Some people just don't get that human babies are not supposed to be living on COW'S milk which is what formula is made from (unless, God forbid, the mother dies and cannot give breast milk to the young). It seems obvious and commonsensical, but it's over some people's heads.
20 :
Just because a woman does not breatfeed does not make her a selfish uncaring crappy mother. How do you explain the woman who have but let their kids run around filthy, leave them with whoever will take them, let them play unsupervised, have no interest in them, smoke around them, drink around them, etc,etc. Some woman are just not comfortable with it for whatever reason and those reasons are none of anyones business. Formula is perfectly safe and just as good. You should think twice before name calling someone on their feeding choices of their children without getting to know what kind of parent they are.
21 :
i think its unfair, for people who can breastfeed to not do it, my son was born sick and he had the bottle, after meeting with 3 lactacion consultants we decided for me to pump, it was a pain in the but but i knew i had to do it. i pumped straight every hr for three months but my milk went dry (frequent 2 to 3 hour hospital drives left me unable to pump) and i produce such a low amount but i gave it to him everytime i could. so people who "choose" not to make me very angry cuz i would have done anything to achieve that special bonding time, but my son is healthy now and recieved his first 3 mos just breast milk and after that it was 1 oz breast milk to 4 Oz formula
22 :
Because it is the WOMAN'S body and therefore it is HER choice. There is no proof that breastfeeding protects from SIDS...the one baby I know who died of SIDS was breastfed. Breastfeeding could indeed SPREAD childhood cancer because most childhood cancers are actually carried through the bloodstream of the parent and are genetic, just because the parent doesn't have it doesn't mean that they can't be a carrier...there goes THAT theory. Same with cardiovascular diseases..and I know breastfed children who a have MANY allergies to food as well as environmental issues. Both of my nieces were breast fed and BOTH have asthma...people like you are WHY when I was in hospital having MY daughter I instructed the hospital staff to NOT allow people who's job it was to push breastfeeding into my room. "No other species refuses it's child it's milk" No other species has the brain function in which to make a CHOICE...and keep this in mind...MOST humans don't EAT their young...however other mammalian species do...so are you suggesting that we eat our young as well?
23 :
First of all, I hate these questions. My mother breastfed all 6 of us and the doctor said to her "why would you want to do that?" Breastfeeding is much more widespread now, but look at all the people you know, can you really tell a difference between those that were breastfed vs. those who were formula fed?...NO! Some of the smartest, healthiest, most talented people I know were formula fed. My son is 6 months (formula fed) he is a very happy, content, chubby, healthy baby! I am a horrible eater, if I breastfed, he would probably get no nutrients. Breastfeeding was not for me. It does not mean I am not a good mother. I love my son more than anything in the world, if I really thought formula wasn't good I wouldn't do it. There are those that are breastfeeding advocates.....I am a formula feeding advocate!
24 :
I think Lola K's story is a perfect example of how misinformed we are in general. I really feel for her because her breastfeeding journey didn't need to end with her first child. It was probably something that could have been fixed by removing - for example - dairy from her diet or something. I think that many women are in her shoes; just not having a doc who's informed and not really knowing of any other resources for bf'ing info. If she had a better first experience, she may have made a different choice with her subsequent children. I hope you understand, Lola, I'm not judging you at all, I'm very sympathetic to your situation and using it as an example. You made the best choice based on the info that was available to you at the time.
25 :
I support breastfeeding. There are several reasons why a mom would refuse. The primary reason, I think, is because they did not grow up with breastfeeding around them. It is not part of their culture and they prefer to do what is comfortable for them. Only about 10 years ago, breastfeeding was usually sabotaged by the mother's parents and in-laws, doctors, nurses, etc. People still have to deal with that. It is very likely that the next generation is going to be much more willing to breastfeed as they will have grown up with breastfeeders around them. I think it's like women's rights. The first generation get all the crap and then it's normal. Nobody thinks about it, they just do it. Finally, I need to add that some women don't want to share their reasons. I might have a mental illness, and thank you, I don't want to share that with maternity ward personnel. Perhaps I know that my situation is such that breastfeeding isn't something that can continue once home due to the uncontrolled atmosphere. Don't know, but as you try to figure out ways to encourage those who are interested, these are things to remember.
26 :
I breastfed my 6 year old son for 6 months. He refused to latch on but I pumped all the time and he didn't have formula. He has a lot of severe allergies, including chicken, rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, horses and etc. The allergist said he never saw anyone allergic to chicken before. I honestly do not think that Breastmilk was beneficial for him at all. My son was very sick when he was born he had meconium staining his 1 min. apgar was a 4. He has ADHD also. It is the mother's choice. A mother should be asked only once while in the hospital if they want to breastfeed, if she says no, then it should be left at that. it should not be a forced topic, I would get defensive and angry too if someone was trying to push their values on me.
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