My mother in law is the typical overbearing, self-centered "It's all about ME ME ME ME ME!" mother in law. The problem I am having is my husband (her only child) and I are expecting our first baby and I know that my mother in law is going to want us to come visit. The issue, however, is not how much I hate her (which I do) but that her house is completely filthy. Dog hair, cat hair, dirt, nicotine, animal feces (she has hardwood floors and just lets the animals relieve themselves everywhere and uses just a paper towel - no cleaning agent - to "clean" the area) etc. She even lets the cat crawl all over the kitchen counter WHILE she is cooking (I'm an animal lover with 3 cats but my kitties aren't allowed around food I'm preparing!) She's also has these horrible "Dragon Lady" acrylic nails that always have some sort of brownish/blackish crud caked under them. Both my husband and I have approached her about the cleanliness of the house and our expectations as far as handling the baby (Hands must always be washed before picking the baby up, never put the baby on the urine-stained hardwood floors, etc.) yet she refuses to believe there is anything wrong with the sanitation of her home and self. She says that I'm being way too paranoid and uptight and there is nothing wrong with a baby being exposed to a germ or two. She then gave us the "I raised you (my husband) so I KNOW what I am doing!" (I personally think it's luck my husband isn't dead) I personally would LOVE to never have my child step foot in her home but I know that would cause a lot of tension between my husband and his parents (rightly so) but I don't want to sacrifice my child's health and safety just to keep everyone "Happy". What would you do in this situation and, more importantly, what do you think I should do? She will never accept that her living conditions are less than par - it's just the way she is. We've brought it up several times and no luck. While I can have her over to our place for the majority of the visits the hard part will be holidays. It's "tradition" that she has Christmas morning at her home. My daughter will be born c-section tomorrow which means by Christmas she'll be 10 months old and crawling! EWE!!!
Other - Pregnancy & Parenting - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Just never take the baby over to her house. If she wants to see the baby, then she has to go over to your house. If she wants to hold the baby, she must be clean and wash her hands. It is your baby, you're the parent, not her...she has to abide by your rules. If she doesn't like the rules, then it's her loss...
2 :
Try approaching her again, and if she doesn't listen, threaten to say the her future grandson will not be able to come over there, and if that doesn't make her clean up her act, there is not much you can do.
3 :
well me being a clean freek this would be me worst nightmare!!! you have to but your children first and trust your motherly instinks, maybe suggest she comes over to yours and cook dinner then she cant moan or even invite her out so she could see the baby, but there would be no way i would let my child get covered in cat poo!!
4 :
Keep your child away from her. I know it's tough because you want your husband to be happy, but I've learned that inlaws are not worth the trouble they cause!! Tell your husband firmly that if things over tehre don't improve, your baby will NOT be going over there.
5 :
you are the parent, not her. it is your decision, and your husband should be your side, unless he's a momma's boy and not a man. a visit is okay, but not new born. nothing is wrong with asking her to wash her hands. tell her that every one that handles the baby has to. don't try and single her out in any way. if she wants to see the baby have her come to your place, or to a restaurant. good luck
6 :
Can she come visit you? Or maybe take swabs of her floor, counters,and even her nails have them checked in a lab and give her the results( like they do on that BBC show How Clean is your House). She may be mortified if she had scientific proof she's a bio hazard waiting to happen. It just may be that she will never listen to anybody and then you have to do what's best for your child and not the grandma. Or if you can afford it send a cleaning crew to her house as a 'gift'. Good luck.
7 :
This is your child and your husband shares your opinion. If you are that concerned, tell her that your child will not step within her house unless is is clean. If you don't think it's clean, tell her she can see the baby at your place. Don't take any lip from the old broad...it's your baby and you know what's best. If she has a problem with that, let the tension rise. Either she will concede, or you won't have to deal with her again.
Read more discussions :
- Christians - what is more important - your child's...
- I need to interview a teacher of students with phy...
- If the father of your child did drugs, will that t...
- Do you have to pay child support and health insura...
- Christian parents, do you trust your child's healt...
- does the health care overhaul really include legis...
- if im ordered to provide health insurance for my c...
- What can a person do for health insurance when pre...
