My boyfriend and I live in NY, he has 2 children that live in Chicago (previous marriage). He has been paying the suggested amount for child support since they divorced-financially I can't say they have any issues, gifts are sent for holidays/b-days, and he/we make visits out there periodically to see the kids. He also has the children on his insurance policy, however his ins. does not provide coverage beyond the East Coast-the policy will only cover ER and in patient stays. Since we had our son a year ago she's been acting a bit "catty, getting on his case about how she's paying too much for their out patient health care and she only works 2 days a week, she wants to start sending them to private school, and her recent favorite comment is "I could care less about your other life" etc etc. We even found out the the kids started calling their step father (or rather her boyfriend until very recently) 'Dad' (Which I object to considering that despite the fact that we live far, my boyfriend is still is a part of their lives). She got married about 2 weeks ago and since then has been bugging my boyfriend NON STOP to give "legal rights" to her husband so he can put them on his insurance policy because he needs to be a legal guardian or adoptive parent. Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he's very passive and a man of few words-he doesn't ask many questions and I feel that she takes advantage of that sometimes. I mean essentially what she's asking for is for him to give up his parental rights for the sake of the kids healthcare coverage...? I understand that times are rough, and obtaining health care isn't easy especially if you're not working or working part time, but the rest of us bust our @sses to work full time to support our children while she works 2 days a week...? And from what it seems like lately, I don't think she's working @ all to go to school. I'm a full time working Mom, T take online college courses, and I take care of about 80% of my toddler's financial needs-and this includes daycare which in NY is $160 per week, I also have my son on my health care policy. My boyfriend is a wonderful partner and Father, and I know that technically he should contribute more financially, but I do it to alleviate him from the pressure. We're even afraid to get married b.c I've heard that if we do, the courts can combine both of our incomes, can that be done? Sorry if this is a lot people, but any opinions on the situation would be appreciated. Thanks everyone for your opinions, even if they were negative and for some borderline insulting-just goes to show how BITTER you are-not all Mom's work part time for their kids-some are just plain LAZY, as in HER CASE. But what can I expect from losers who live off of Yahoo answers.
Marriage & Divorce - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
A step-father can put kids on his insurance. My husband covers my children with no legal change in their status. It's silly for you to have so much resentment about her. Her life is none of your business. What the kids call their step-dad is none of your business. If it bothers your bf, HE should do something about it. Your income can't be combined, exactly. In some states the second wife's income can be CONSIDERED as part of what the dad has to live on, but child support is calculated on his, and possibly her income (the bio mom and dad). Don't marry this man if you plan to maintain all this bitterness about his ex. You will make his life miserable. Right now, you aren't even the children's step-mom.
2 :
I'm not going to address a lot of this, because stepfamily arrangements can be sooo tricky, especially when one parent is in a different state from the kids. What I do want to say is that you should dig a little deeper on this insurance thing, because I suspect that the kids *could* be covered on the stepfather's policy and that the ex is just yanking your boyfriend's chain. My husband has worked at several different jobs over the years, and has always, ALWAYS been able to include my daughter (his stepchild) on his health insurance policies. It's never been a problem to add her, and no one has ever made an issue of the fact that she's "only" a stepchild; she's always had the same benefits as his/our biological children. Just something to consider...
3 :
First of all, the court cannot combine your income with his in order to calculate child support (or anything else) because the children are his and not yours. It doesn't matter how much money you make. Secondly, STAY OUT of his interactions with his ex wife regarding their children. It is none of your business; and in the long run you will be creating resentment and bitterness for all of your "helpful suggestions." They are his kids... let him man up and deal with it.
4 :
This is your boyfriend's issues to deal with the mother of his children and their insurance issues..these are issues that most couples need to work after divorce..if not, then there is always court intervention by either party..courts only look at the parents incomes for determining child support, health insurance, etc..
5 :
I cover my step daugthers on my health insurance even though my husband and his ex shared joint custody. It should be allowed under the plan. BTW, the new husband only has 2 more weeks to sign up the kids under his work policy. Under the rules of COBRA, you have 30 days following a qualifying event to add or drop coverage. Their excuse is invalid. He probably should ask his attorney about the combined income for child support. My husband did not have to pay more for child support following our marriage.
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