My boyfriend has a 5 year old daughter that was born in Tennessee. He is listed on the birth certificate as the father. He pays child support and health insurance. Originally he was ordered to have the child every Sunday. He and the mother were never together. He and I have been together for 6 years (since the mom was 2 months pregnant), so the child has known me all her life. However the mother has always been bitter toward both of us. 2 years ago she moved with her parents and his daughter to Pennsylvania. For the last 2 years things have been relatively civil and the mom cooperated to let us get the child for some holidays and some of the summer. Recently, however, there was a fight between me, the mother, my boyfriend, and mom's new boyfriend. Since then she has threatened that he will never see his child again and that she's getting a lawyer (although she doesn't have a case, since the child is not mistreated by us in any way). Immediately following the fight, she stopped censoring what she says about the 2 of us to his child and needless to say, the child is going along with what mommy tells her. She wont call him anymore and when he calls, the daughter yells into the phone that she doesn't want to talk to him. What should he do at this point? Can he get a new visitation schedule ordered by the court since technically the old one was violated? Will he or the mother be in trouble for not notifying child support or court that she was moving 2 years ago? Any advice regarding what his next move should be is greatly appreciated. just to specify, he and I have a wonderful relationship with his daughter. She has never reacted this way toward him until after the mother got mad infront of her.
Other - Pregnancy & Parenting - 3 Answers
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1 :
If the mother is receiving child support she is supposed to let them know that she has moved its not his job, and yes he can go and get a court ordered visitation schedule since that one was in violation. She will be in more trouble them him. Just tell him not to put his daughter in the middle of the fights its not healthy for her.
2 :
It is unfortunate that you all are in this situation. It would be nice if parents (the mom in this case) didn't involve their children in adult situations. I would suggest hiring a lawyer because the lawyer will be able to guide him through the whole process. At this point the mom is probably going to make things as difficult as possible. I would get a notebook (like a composition book) and document all communication and make sure you put in dates and times and exactly everything that is said. He can also tape record all phone calls. Make sure to inform her (only once) that all calls will be recorded for future reference (makes it admissible in court). If she is trying to play games this will help in court and they always forget eventually that they are being recorded. He can always file with the courts for a new custody agreement at any time. These things can get nasty and a lawyer will be able to make sure that he does everything right.
3 :
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