My father's health is going down hill, and we just found out today that he might have prostate cancer but we wont know till May 2nd. He has had to have two stents put in his arteries to his heart because they were 99% blocked and it was only God he didnt die then and there. I want my father to see my first child and to hold him/her but my husband does not want to have children for 3 years. Last night he said he would have children now because he loves me and thats what I want and he understands why I want one now. But I still feel bad because I know deep down inside he doesnt want one now. He said he would be very happy if I got pregnant and knows he will melt when he see's the child for the first time... he said since he loves me and that I mean alot to him he will do this for me... is it wrong to get pregnant even though I know deep down he does not want to but he says its ok because of the circumstances? I want his child so bad and so its not just my dad's health why I want one. Before my dad's health even started to get bad I have had baby fever very bad and have wanted one for a while. I grew up with only one grandparent and I dont want me to tell my children oh if you only knew your grandfather he was an amazing man, because thats all I heard from my parents about my grandparents who died before I was born. I am very very close to my father and I want him to see my child. Thats not wrong is it? I am very lucky I have a husband who understands and puts my first. He is amazing. I just feel bad in some way because its not exactly what he wants. My husband is sort of in denial about my father being sick. My father has enfazema and he has already had one heart attack from it and enfazema isnt cureable it just keeps getting worse. Thats why my dad's ateries are clogged. My husband's father just died about 3 weeks ago, and so thats why he does understand why I want children now because his father didnt. Correcting above... because his father didnt get to see our children.
Pregnancy - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
he wants to have children with you so timing shouldnt matter i completly understand your situation i wasnt married when my father died so at least you have time i would have loved to see him holding my child of course your husband will melt when he hears the heartbeat, see the ultrasound and hold your baby. and so will your father. timing shouldnt matter and he loves you very much to change his mind and say hell try earlier for your wishes. you have a great man. my husband did the same thing just cus i got baby fever before he did. its out of love so dont feel bad. good luck and baby dust girl hope all goes well. im sorry for your situation. im always free to talk if you need to.
2 :
I know what your are going though my grandma who was like my mom was diagnosed with cancer and a month before she passed away I talked to my boyfriend (we were planning our wedding before my g-ma got sick) if we could have a baby depending on how long she had and it turned out htat I was already pregnant I found out Sept 20 and she passed on Oct. 4 But she was so excited. It gave her something to look forward to. I think it gave her hope. But I am gald that she isnt suffering any more. If it does get real bad for your dad it will put A LOT of stress on you. I know it did with me. Good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best for you and your dad.
3 :
i would still say wait.. your child probably still wont be able to remember his grandfather... and your father may not be around long enough to see his grandchild.. but i know how you feel i cried so much more at my dad's funeral just because i never met either of my grandfathers (they died before i was born) and i didn't want to tell me kids the if you only knew your grandfather because he was an amazing man.. may God help you and your family make the best decisions & good luck..
4 :
maybe your husband didn't want a baby now, but then he saw what you're going through and realized, hey maybe she's right... i know what se means.. he wouldn't agree to this unless he wanted one too, you have to know that he is telling the truth. he's okay with it. he understands. he loves you. he'd do this for you, jsut like you'd expect him to do as a husband.
5 :
well if its what you want and you think he wont resent you fro it later and if he is really OK then go ahead you guys are married and I'm sure your dad would love to see his grandchild before he dies.....so just make sure that hes really OK with it and that its not just because of the circumstances!!! good luck and best wishes hope your father doesn't have cancer....good luck though
6 :
.Just keep to your plans ,do not change them because you fear you may lose your father to God , but start to get video,s of your wonderful Dad and get some where he is talking to his grandchild ,you could probably get him to speak just to you , also ,about how he feels for you and his to come grand child . ,now - oh- days with all of this modern system none of us should be without our love ones speaking just to us on video even if he was not sick things happen so fast !!! all of us first we are here then too fast we leave for a better place. Good luck friend in whatever decision you make!!
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