I ask this question because the way to help child abuse is not only to treat the effects, but to prevent it from happening in the first place. I want to do something to end it and unfortunately the law is not capable of that - it's a moral problem. Therefore we need to instill the parents with the idea that child abuse creates more problems than the quick solution is worth. The best conclusion I've come to is that the parent does not know any other way. Instead of trying to persuade the child why there action is wrong, they use force to make the child do what they want with little or no regard for the mental or physical health of the child. Is its root at the lack of education held by these parents? I know that sometimes even educated people will abuse their children (even though this is less frequently seen), but I've thought that maybe this is due to their education being worthless in that they never made the proper connections in the moral aspects of life.
Psychology - 12 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Education in the true sense never completely comes from books, it comes from experiencing life and interacting with people... To behave educated, you should know what educated behaviour is. These child abusers are just frustrated souls who have no spirit of making a decent life for themselves and their children... they are often alcoholic or just plain mad.POSSIBLY they were abused when young themselves so they try to vent all that built up frustration or whatever but its f***ing wrong anyway
2 :
Lack of education, particularly as to what good parenting consists of, can be a causative factor. But it is usually more than that--fear, or bitterness at life, of a pattern witnesses or suffered as a child instills the behavior in the parent. Sort of "monkey see; monkey do." The abusive parent, very often, repeats the pattern of abuse with her own children.
3 :
Most studies done on abuse show that those who were abused themselves as children end up being abusers when they are adults. I don't think they have come up with a reason why, other than, it is the only example they ever had from their own parents, in how to treat and discipline children. So they have to be "retrained" on proper discipline for children....without abuse.
4 :
As Philip Larkin once said "They F**K you up, Your mom and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with all the faults they had. And add some extra just for you But they were F**ked up in their time. By fools in old style hats and coats. Who half the time were sloppy stern And half at eachothers throats Man hands on misery to man It deepens like a coastal shelf Get out as early as you can and don't have any kids yourself" To me this shows SOME parents abuse their kids, because its the only thing they know from childhood. Someone else might look at that poem and think completely differnt but a poem has millions of different meanings to the beholder. That could be one of them
5 :
This is unclear, are you talking about sexual abuse, or smacking? Smacking is not child abuse, but a necessary form of punishment in some cases. Children are individuals and every one is different and requires different forms of punishment. My first two children will respond to a raised voice the same way my last one needed a firm smack. Parents who don't need to disciplin children are either blessed or naieve.
6 :
Some people are not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle the responsibilities that come with being a parent & so they take their frustrations out on the defenseless child.
7 :
Some of these parents might have been abused as children themselves These parents might be overworked and overstressed These parents may be unconsciously angry that someone else (a caregiver) spends more time with their child than they do Some of these parents may be addicted to drugs or alcohol Some raising children on their own and working might find it to be too much. They might resent the fact that nobody (like the other parent, for example) is helping them with the child.
8 :
You're right---even educated people inflict spousal and child abuse. Abuse, according to research, has no bounds by race, education, economic background, or culture. It is universal and no particular types of people are more likely to abuse than any other. Thus, it isn't true that a black, uneducated mother who drives a beat up Ford and live in the ghettos is more likely to abuse than a white educated christian mother who can afford to drive a BMW SUV and send her child to private school. Sounds strange? This is the truth. I believe abuse has more to do with the abuser's exposure to parents'/guardians' style and whether they were abusive. Abuse just doesn't happen out of the blue. Something caused an abusive personality or the abuser does not realize that what s/he is doing is in fact classified as "abusive". It takes a sensitive person to not inflict pain and abuse on another person. So are all abusers insensitive? No, they are certainly sensitive to what they want and what they need. The key issue about being a "sensitive person" is being empathetic---being able to put oneself in another's shoes when they are suffering. Empathy can be learned via life experiences, usually from experiences that have caused them pain. For example, you'd only know how a patient feels inside a hospital for weeks or how much pain an IV stick is until you have been through similar situations. Another example---you would never know how it feels to be treated badly and discriminated against unless it happened to you. It's even hard to provide emotional support to those who suffer from certain situations because you've never been through similar trials. For example, I'd never really be able to provide a shoulder to cry on and an "I know" for a PTSD military person unless I'd been through a similar situation facing and seeing the death of friends. It's difficult. An abusive personality is abusive because the behaviors are hurful to another person. A simple observation and reflection are required to determine if a behavior leads to another person having pain and/or distress (physically, emotionally, psychologically, or physically). If the behavior does lead to distress in another person, one would have to be a pretty darn cold person to continue with that behavior. A huge part of personal growth is putting aside self-pleasure and self-gratification for the welfare of others. If something gives me pleasure, but it hurts others, I am morally obligated to stop that behavior right now. The fact that it gives me immense pleasure means there is some psychological problem with me. Pain, distress, and discomfort in another person should be monitored and helped if at all possible. Life is so hard as it is. We should all ask ourselves, why make it harder for them?
9 :
Some of what you say is true, and I'm glad that you are exploring some of the facets of this complicated behavior. I too believed that prevention before the fact was better than punishment after the fact. So, in 1973, at the beginning, I became a "professional sponsor" of the first "Parents Anonymous" group in the state. I then became the director of the state-wide child abuse emergency line, and then spent 15 years with the state department of protective services. So Along the way I conducted national and international workshops on chld abuse prevention. So I guess I can say that I have some expertize in this area. The US Government Accounting Office (now called "Accountability" office, for some reason) studied the fifteen major child abuse prevention programs in the country, and found that Parents Anonymous was not only the best, it was the ONLY program tha stopped child abuse. Period! Unfortunately, I soon learned (working in the state agency) that the laws and the agencies are set up ONLY to deal with abusive parents AFTER they abuse. You're right..."the law is not capable." However, it is not a moral problem. Most of the parents I dealt with (several hundred) knew they should not be doing what they did to their kids, and didn't want to. Part of their problem was that, in many ways, they were still (emotionally) children themselves. They needed support and encouragement, and ways not to abuse, AND other ways to deal with their children. That's what we did in PA that we didn't/couldn't through the state agency.The Law says we can remove children from their parents and put them with strangers, but we can't conduct programs that are known to help parents not abuse in the first place! So you say, "the parent does not know any other way" and that "it's root is at the lack of education..." Another part of the problem is that they learned what they lived: Abused themselves as children, by parents who were also abused as children, they saw NO reason NOT to continue the cycle. In PA we changed that: We interrupted the cycle so they could start over in new ways! The education we talked about was learning other ways to get along with their children, deal with them when they "mis"-behaved, and STOP their behavior toward their kids before it got out of hand. Thanks for your interest in this incredibly important topic, and for the chance to say some things about it. -- Dr. Bob
10 :
Many of our grand-parents and great grand-parents didn't have an education and they didn't resort to child abuse . Mainly , I think it comes from anger ; frustration ; emotional immaturity / and or substance abuse to harm an innocent child . Poverty doesn't turn decent human beings into child batterers . I think its a personality problem . People always want to play the blame game rather than accept personal responsibility . "The devil made me do it" only works in make believe .
11 :
In answer to you posted question... Because they are sick SOB's... What should we do about them: Hmmm...Euthanize them comes to mind !!!! My question is: Why do you even think to put the Predator in the right ???? It is a proven fact that no amount of counseling can ever cure these people !!!
12 :
i believe most child abusers were either abused in some way as a child, or saw so much abuse as a child that they don't know any other way. theoretically, they could be taught differently by 1) parenting classes 2) anger management classes 3) seeing situations that are GOOD parenting and maybe something about not taking their frustrations out on children some may also have brain injuries or mental illnesses that is a LOT of reeducation.
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